"People very often call compromise adaptation, just as they call security happiness. Both are equally self-deceiving."
The live lectures of Dr. Imre Csernus are always popular, but when the topic is relationships, the room is always packed. Why does finding and keeping love and happiness so often cause us problems? The well-known psychiatrist traces this question in his new book.
The short answer is given by the title of the book. It is no coincidence that instead of the order of politeness of "you and me", I and you, since those who cannot accept and love themselves cannot really love anyone else either. Based on this premise, the author goes through the stages of relationships that are familiar to all of us, from the awakening of attraction to the breakup that occurs so often, from the first attempts at wings in adolescence to adult love, from the founding of a family to the arrival of children to divorce and starting over, or, where appropriate, the relationship is successful until rescue.
Why is safety not the same as happiness? Why is codependency so common? How are relationship patterns inherited? Why is it a problem if two vampires in a relationship suck each other's blood? Why should we not be afraid of failure? What warning signs warn that the death of love may soon occur? Why is it not a good idea to stay together because of the children? Why is it important to draw boundaries, follow promised consequences, and take responsibility for our words and actions? Why is it important to learn that the truth is halfway? And as parents, why should we teach our children all this in time? By the time we get to the end of the book, we will get answers to these questions that fundamentally define our lives, and we can also learn how to fill the glass of our relationship every day.
Dr. Imre Csernus always emphasizes in his work that he only makes suggestions. That's why I and you will be, if not mandatory, recommended reading for everyone who wants true love and long-lasting happiness. "If I approach my life with heart and soul, then I approach the other person with heart and soul, with adulthood, and also with sexuality. This heart-with-soul, all-in, adult approach is the master key that opens all locks."